Depression: When It Hits, You Hit Harder

"Depression is being colorblind and constantly being told how colorful the world is"

It's 1 in the afternoon, kids are playing. Laughing and singing along to the excavator song on Blippi. It should be a beautiful moment to see them all getting along and not fighting. But, I sit there numb with a fake smile.

I like many others suffer from chronic depression. To be honest, I am suffering from depression now and fighting through it every day. This is depression.

What does depression feel like?

This is one of the hardest things to explain. It's even harder to explain it to someone who has never experienced it before. This is the best way I can describe it in different examples.

The heaviness of depression/ Lack of energy/ Aches and Pain

Imagine chaining a 50 lb brick to your legs and arms, Now I want you to imagine walking around and going on your day. How heavy it is and how tiring. How you just want to lay in bed and not move because it is too heavy. You want to cut them off but you cant. It's so heavy and hurting your body. That's the weight of depression.

Loss of pleasure and Joy

Your kids are smiling and playing in front of you. They are getting along for the first time ever and having the time of their lives. But, you feel nothing. You sit there and just stare with a fake smile, eyes emotionless. That is the loss of pleasure and joys in your life that gets taken away.

Feeling of hopelessness

You are laying in bed and it is the afternoon. You are thinking about every wrong thing in your life because that is all you can think of. You are cold and tired. You keep thinking to yourself "What is even the point of any of this?". You continue to lay there.

Concentration and Focus becomes nonexistent

Sitting at work or you are at home watching the kids. You are all over the place, jumping from task to task. You have a presentation coming up but you are focused on 20 other things. You're at home and have cleaning to do. But, you are unable to focus or concentrate on what needs to get done. Even if it is right in front of your eyes and obvious.

I can go on and on but you get the point. But, there are some ways you can manage your depression and lessen the blow of it. It is extremely hard but you can do it. I practice these every day when I am going through depression due to my Bipolar. I hope they help you as it has helped me.

1. 5-4-3-2-1 move.

This is my number one rule. If I don't do this I will do nothing all day. I will call off work and sit on the couch.

I got this from reading Mel Robbin's book The 5 Second Rule. To sum it up it means you have 5 seconds to do what is on your mind before your brain tells you not to.

When I hear that dreaded alarm clock in the morning this is the very first thing I do before even opening my eyes. I think 5-4-3-2-1 and I force myself to get up or even think. It takes a while to become a habit, but trust me it works.

1. Journal Prompts

When I am going through depression I cannot think, but I journal every day no matter what. The goal of this is to answer these prompts in your journal and you will feel a little better after.

These are the prompts I use.

1. When things are tough, I want to remember.......

2. What three things have you achieved today ( getting out of bed, checking the mail, eating, or just relaxed)

3. List three things you love about yourself ( this one is important, no matter how you feel, do it!)

4. What is your favorite quote and why?

5. How would you describe your depression? What has your depression taught you?

Do these every day that you are depressed morning or night.

1. Be Kind To Yourself

This will be one of the hardest things to do. I want you to practice some CBT (cognitive-behavioral therapy). I want you to redirect your thoughts. If you think to yourself that you are worthless, I want you to stop and tell yourself each time out loud. I AM A BADASS, I AM LOW RIGHT NOW AND THAT IS OK BECAUSE I WILL GET THROUGH THIS. I AM STRONG, BEAUTIFUL, AND HELLA FREAKING POWERFUL!

1. Write down 1-3 accomplishments that you will get done today

It could be washing just the cups in the sink, or checking the mail. It doesn't have to be big just something for you to accomplish.

Every day I know matter what do the dishes, take care of the kids, and write/read. It's so hard doing it, but after it is done I feel a release of pressure on myself and accomplishment

Those are just some of the things I do during my depression for myself that work for me like a charm.

Also, remember there is help out there for you. I used to believe going to the doctors for my bipolar or my depression was a sentence to the looney bin, or that everyone will judge me and I would be made a laughing stock. But, I was wrong. I can proudly say I talk to a therapist every week, go to a phycologist every month and even take medication to help. It was one of the best decisions of my life.

Summary

In summary, depression is hard and it is an illness. You don't want to talk to anyone but you feel lonely. You wake up in the morning and simply wait for the night to come so you can just sleep it away. You don't want to live, but you don't want to die.

These tips can help you and you are strong enough to achieve them. You are so brave. If you are here reading this that proves that you are fighting and winning. Also know, that it is ok. People go on rest when they are hurt and so should you. But understand, the more you do nothing and keep downing yourself the longer you will stay down.

Thank you for being here and reading my first Mental Health article. To be on this journey and to become the best of ourselves even on the hard days. Always remember you are strong, beautiful and HELLA freaking powerful!