Fear of Failure: What is it really?
Fear of failure is a mental virus that stops us from taking risks and trying things in life. It tells you a scary story. It says you are not good enough, and things will turn out bad.
The result of living under fear is that you don’t live the life you want to live. It stops you from manifesting your goals and dreams; it prevents you from performing at 100% of your capacity. It makes you procrastinate and avoid taking action, or it subtly makes you unconsciously sabotage your actions.
I used to live in complete fear of failure. So much so that I never tried anything new or I would give up early because I didn't think I was good enough. Hell, it took me 2 years to finally set up my blog site because I was terrified of failing and embarrassing myself.
The thought of trying made me fear into fight or flight. My body would go into self-defense mode. How crazy is that!
But after a lot of deep thinking, research and anxiety-filled moments while figuring out ways for me to overcome this dilemma. I found out the greatest thing. It is not fear, it is your "what if" complex overtaking your thoughts till you become overwhelmed with all these negative thoughts that you put yourself into a panic attack. Harsh right.
To yet again quote my women crush Rachel Hollis "People tell me that they’re afraid to fail, but when you dig deeper you discover that it’s not failure they’re afraid of— they’re afraid of “doing it wrong”. Reading that gave me goosebumps. I mean damn. Because it is true, what we are most afraid of is doing something the wrong way. But, you see that's the way it's supposed to work. Ain't it?
If first you don't succeed try again. You remember that phrase. It's overused but still relevant. People learn through failures, you think Thomas Edison did not fail while inventing the freaking lightbulb. He failed over 1000 times and still kept going till he became one of the most famous men in our entire history by doing so. Failing is a part of life and growth. How are you supposed to grow if you don't fail?
What takes the "fear" away?
Redefine The word failure
Start with the meaning of it, lack of success. It does not mean you will never succeed it means that you have to find 1000 ways not to do something just like Edison did.
The main problem here is that most of us are not great at defining success. This could leave us feeling like failures when in fact we’re the opposite. Working and living like this doesn’t honor or respect the effort we put into our lives. It’s time to redefine.
I define failure as a chance to learn, and a chance to grow into a stronger more adaptable person. I tell myself that every time I start to feel that panic working through my body, then all that doubt flows away.
Identify your worst-case scenario
I'm going to get you an example, a strong one. When I gave up alcohol recently I was in complete fear that I could not survive without it. That my body would shut down and I would well die. I am not kidding you I thought I was going to die if I did not have a drink every single day even though that drink itself was killing me. That was the worst-case scenario even though it isn't true. My mind was so stuck on that thought.
So I changed my mindset. I tell myself every time I have a panic attack to drink that I will not die, I will live. I will accomplish my goals and have more time to take care of myself and my family. You know what it worked. I am now not scared. I'm motivated to make it through this challenge and tell my fear and doubts to piss out then step on a lego because I am killing it.
You are just panicking
When that first "what if" shows its ugly face it is all downhill from there. You start overthinking and I mean every worst case that could happen. It's in your head and it will not come out.
When I chose with my doctors to quit drinking I was so motivated. I was jumping up and down and ready to kick this bad habits ass that was robbing me of life to the curb on jump street. But then that first "what if" hit me.
" What if I end up depressed again?" then it becomes "How will I cope if I don't have a drink" and went farther and farther down the rabbit hole. I was just having a panic attack, a "what if" panic attack. It wasn't the fear of failing to get sober. It was a scenario in my head that might not even happen and had no reason to be there.
Do a reality check
What consequences of the worst scenario have actually happened? How bad is this scenario really? What am I really afraid of? What good does this fear bring to me?
These questions will help you get back on track to clear your mind and help you focus on what the goal really is. Accomplishing your goals and dreams.
Journal
I want you to brain dump that shit, I mean every thought that runs through your mind write it down and don't stop. You will know when to trust me. Then after, read it, or try to. Like in my case. You will be able to tell right there and then that you are panicking and you need to calm down and reassess yourself.
Journalling allows us to see our thoughts in real life and sort out what is really a reality.
Those are my tips when it comes to the sentence fear of failure.
I practice these methods every single day, and sometimes multiple times. These all have helped me get to where I am at today. Right now I am still writing daily on my blog and I am currently 5 days sober from drinking. I'm not letting that fear of failure creep up on me anymore because it is a bunch of crock. You are in control of your actions and your thoughts. So take control and live your dreams and goals.
Don't let your "what ifs" take away your happiness. You only have one life to live. Go live it and be happy.
Thank you so much for being here on day 3 of my blogging site. I am so thrilled to be on this journey with you. I hope you have a groovy day! Also remember, you are strong, beautiful, and HELLA freaking powerful.
Don't forget to subscribe and join my new Facebook page, Pinterest and Instagram. It shows behind the scenes of my life and how I practice what I write every day. I would love to see you there and hear about your story and all of your hopes and dreams.
Until next time peace babes.
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